Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
