trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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