and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
