everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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