whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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