BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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