she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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