the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His hands were made for my vagina.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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