pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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