why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
