SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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