Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
