I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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