I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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