4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
