I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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