Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
