I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
