I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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