oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
