Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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