I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this boner is exhausting
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
