i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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