I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Randomize
