If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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