ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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