the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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