I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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