It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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