My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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