you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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