Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
