were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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