you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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