He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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