I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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