please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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