Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
