I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My ATM looks so different sober.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
