I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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