She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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