Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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