Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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