im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
