I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize