I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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