I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
