I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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