whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
