Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize