Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I love you.
Bad choice
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