Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
