i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
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Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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