he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My day in three words: secret purse cake
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
