Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
