Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
