I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
