We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
