hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
