Are we in a gay sports bar?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
4 words: hood of his car
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
