"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
