sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
