My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Drunk is not a location!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
